By the Way

Last night I dreamed some extremely weird things. So I thought I'd share them with you. You probably don't care about them, but it's my blog. Heh heh.
So I dreamed I was burnt to a crisp by some insane teenagers but I was still hanging around as a spirit. No one could see me but I could still manipulate physical objects, hear everything anyone was saying and whisper stuff to people that would influence their thinking. So at one point my sisters were very distraught that I was gone so I peeled back some wallpaper (I don't know) and laid out two Japanese fans that had particular meaning to us so they'd know I was still there. They got the message but were still sad.
So then I stole a purple SUV and drove it the wrong way down a freeway on-ramp. The police were quite surprised when they pulled it over, let me tell you.
At some point I reached out to pet my beautifully groomed, warm, sweet, fluffy little dog (who has been dead for about three years) and woke up because I was patting the mattress.
I am so weird.
Tomorrow I shall wax philosophical. Today I am going to list some of my pet peeves. Just 3 of them.
1. People who leave seconds on the microwave. Come on. Is your life so incredibly busy that you couldn't wait the remaining two seconds? And the "clear" button is SO CLOSE to the "start" button. Sometimes they even TOUCH. Just push it. You'll like it, I promise.
2. People using my pillows. It's just disgusting. I have no idea where you've been. You might have strange and unnatural things living on you. Even if you didn't I wouldn't want you on my pillows. It is for this very reason that I use two pillowcases on each pillow. Heck, I know where I've been and I don't even want ME on my pillows.
3. People who think they know everything. Have you ever had a conversation with a brick wall? Or a turtle? Or perhaps a lemon? I would rather spend the rest of my life speaking exclusively to one of the aforementioned items than speak to someone who "knows" everything about everything. Seriously, even if you DO know everything about everything, don't ruin the fabulousness of self-discovery for everyone else. And if I say something incorrect, or even something you just SUSPECT might be incorrect, just let me bask in the glory of my incorrectness for a while. I'll figure out the correct answer eventually. I just love Wikipedia. ;)