Barking Mad

So here's the thing: I love dogs. Love them to pieces. Not literally, of course. That's disgusting.
And at the moment there are four of them (dogs, that is) staying/living in the same house with me. None of them are mine, but then the house isn't either. Just like the luggage I was talking about a few days ago.
Are you sensing a pattern in my life?
Anyway...
I've been living with two of them for the last year and have gotten rather used to them. I don't enjoy being awakened by them on a consistent basis but have consoled myself with the knowledge that it was a temporary situation. The third one is only staying here for a few days and is just upset because he's out of his element.
So three of these four dogs are barking machines and it's driving me crazy. CRAZY, I tell you. The kind of crazy that makes you want to go out and buy a marshmallow gun.
Because you don't exactly want to hurt the small yipping thing that's keeping you awake at three am but you wouldn't mind bopping it on the nose with a small fluffy projectile that would end up making it delightfully sticky.
So because of all this barking at night and non-sleeping I am exceptionally cranky and tired. And I find that those two particular traits do not make me more inclined to be nice to small noisy animals. I consider myself to be a rather nice person in normal circumstances. But keep me awake for too long and I just might have to maim you. Or consume large amounts of Unisom, but I digress...
The only nice thing about this whole situation is that the fourth dog is a cute little puppy. He's rather soft and nice and doesn't actually make much noise. I have yet to want to 'mallow him.
Tomorrow I head up to Spokane to attend my cousin's wedding. And honestly, the thing I'm most looking forward to is a night of uninterrupted sleep. Yes, relatives are lovely. And yes, weddings are joyful and blah, blah, blah. But all I really want at the moment is to lie down at night and not hear anything that has four legs.
God help the hotel patron who brings his dog with him. That's all I have to say.
"Next week on 'Criminals gone wild,' we bring you the story of a local woman who appears to have gone insane after several nights without sleep. Police caught the woman after she had broken into several homes, shaved frowny faces into the owner's pet canines and disappeared. No valuables were taken."