Bag Lady

I wonder what it's like to be a hobo. Hobo-ess? I can imagine that it's a lot of fun, apart from the whole smelling-like-a-rotten-fish thing. Are there hobo rules? Like, do you have to be dirt poor? Or can you simply stash your money somewhere and pretend?
Do you really have to carry around a knapsack on a stick? That's probably terrible for your back.
I think I'd enjoy being a hobo more if I could take a break now and then. You know, check into a hotel once a month, have a shower, eat something that didn't come from a can, etc. Then I'd be back on the road. Or back on a train. I don't recall ever seeing a hobo on a bicycle so maybe that's against the rules.
My sisters, their husbands and I play Rock Band sometimes. Our group name is the Weevils. And my older sister's husband Adam named his character Hobo Joe. He has dreadlocks and wears a trucker hat. He also has a beard. I don't think that'd be a good look for me.
Hobos are kind of like bag ladies.
When I lived in Portland I saw lots of them.
They steal shopping carts from stores and live in them. Unless, of course, the stores are smart. Walgreens put these little automatic wheel-clampy-thingies on all of their carts. So if you try and wheel them out of the parking lot these plastic things clamp over the wheels and they won't roll anymore. That takes all the fun out of them, you see. You can't roll in a non-rolling cart.
I think I would fill the front of the cart with potted plants. Like petunias. There's no use in rolling around a cart if it doesn't look nice. Aesthetics matter, you know.
Anyway, back to hobo-ing.
What made me think of this?
I have no idea.
I just woke up this morning wondering what it would be like to be an independently wealthy hobo. It sounds fascinating, doesn't it? Kind of like Forrest Gump without the hassle of all that running.
But I think I'd have to change my name. Hobo Jamie just doesn't have much of a ring to it.
Hobo Flo?
That's a little better.
And I think I'd insist on being called by my full title at all times.
"Excuse me, Flo?"
*Long pause* "Were you speaking to me?"
"Yes... I'm sorry. Hobo Flo?"
*snicker*
If I ever win the lottery and disappear after a shopping spree at REI, you'll know why.