Waiting (thoughts from the inside)

Hello friends! To all of you out there who still might find the random musings of my life interesting, I say a warm hello. A large "meh" to the rest of the world. 

So the last blog I wrote was WAY back in March (or May?) before graduation from nursing school, the national nursing boards exam, my 30th birthday, etc., etc. 
A lot of changes, but a lot of NO changes too. 

Let me explain... 
So I graduated nursing school in May (yay me!) and then I took the NCLEX exam and passed (yay me again!) so now I'm officially a registered nurse. This is what I worked for for 15 LONG months. The fact that it's over is still a bit surreal. 
But probably not so surreal for the rest of my classmates. That is because, you see, they all have jobs. They're happily "nurse-ing" away at different locations around Texas. (And one in Wyoming.) 

Me? I'm sitting here. Yep, just sittin' away. Slowly gaining weight and becoming dull-witted. 
Why, you ask? 
I'll tell you. It's because I, alone out of 30 people, can not find a job. 
Have I applied, you ask? 
Yes, I say. To well over 50 positions. 
But they do not want me. I have not been called for a single interview. 
Nada. 
Zip. 
Zero. 
Zilch. 

No one, it seems, has looked upon my application with favor and decided that I'm worth a quick glance. From April to September, week after week, application after application, I have been passed over and told, "Thanks, but no thanks." 

Why is that? I don't know. I can think of PLENTY of reasons, but I sincerely hope they're all untrue and just coming out of an increasingly deluded mind. 

What do I do with my days, you might wonder. What does one do when faced with an eternity of NOT being the only thing you want to be, you may ponder. 
Well I already told you. I sit here. And watch tv on the internet. And play stupid computer games. And talk to my dog. (He's wonderfully supportive.) And slowly, slowly lose confidence that I will ever get to use the skills I worked SO hard to learn. It's not like I can go temp somewhere while waiting for something permanent. Nursing doesn't work that way. 

So I wait. And I sit. And I wonder... 
What was all that work for? 
Why did go to nursing school? 
When will I finally get a chance to do something I literally ache to do? 
Because I'll tell you, it's no use being a nurse if you can't actually nurse anybody. I suppose it's a bit like a carpenter without thumbs. 

Forgive me the wallowing post, friends. Maybe soon I'll be able to give a lighter, happier, sillier update.  

But I doubt it.

Turtles

So today's post is kind of a bonus. Aren't you thrilled?

For the last week I've had a song percolating in my brain about turtles and the tragedies that befall them when they happen to meander across major roadways.
Strange, you say?
Well of course.
Don't you know whose blog this is?

Anyway, the song came about because of two of my nursing school friends. Neither of them directly caused the demise of a turtle, but each witnessed one.
And subsequent distress ensued. (On the girls' parts. The turtles had already "joined the choir invisible," so to speak.)

So the song was born.
And I'm sharing it with you.
And I know you're desperately excited.



Right?




That's ok.
I'll wait for the applause over here.


Oh you shouldn’t leave a turtle on the highway,
That’s just not the place he’d like to be.
The trucks that whizz right by,
Might make a turtle pie,
The turtle mightn’t like that part at all.

Oh you shouldn’t leave a turtle on the highway.
The sun just might not be the turtle’s friend.
The fire in the sky,
Could make the turtle fry,
The turtle might not find that part too swell.


[chorus]
Oh turtles should be left in quiet waters.
In streams and brooks and places by the sea.
So if you see a turtle,
Hitchhiking down the pavement,
Make sure that he’s allowed to stay carefree…


Oh you shouldn’t leave a turtle on the highway.
There’s not much for the turtle to digest.
The lack of tasty food,
Might wreck the turtle’s mood,
The turtle might find this too much to bear.

Spring Break

Ah, spring break. Pretty much the only reason I have the time and energy to sit here and write this post.
It's a marvelous thing.

Some people are off on a beach, wearing tiny triangles of fabric and string that they pretend are actual bathing suits, drinking enormous amounts of alcohol and hooking up with random strangers. (Mmmmm.... STDs.....)
Some people are traveling to see relatives they haven't seen in months, like long lost Great-aunt Bertha and her hairless chihuahua Nacho.
And some people, like my lovely friend Lacie, are getting married in the Bahamas.

Me?
I'm lying on the living room floor with my snoring dachshund Barney and my NCLEX-RN Q&A Flash Cards.
And I think I just inhaled a dust bunny.

You see, friends, on April 10th I have an exam called the "Exit HESI" at school, which is the Grand Pubah of exams. You have to get a certain score on it in order to graduate as the score indicates something like an 85% chance you'll pass the national nursing boards, or something like that.
It's all quite intimidating.

The professors say they've seen students crumple to the floor in tears, both of joy and defeat.
Does this make me feel confident?
No, it does not.
It makes me wonder:
Will I be the first student in the history of the HSC to smash the computer screen after learning my score?
Should I smuggle in some hairspray and a lighter and threaten to blowtorch the building unless they pass me?
Could I arrange for several trained armadillos to burrow into the room at strategic times thus creating distractions and allowing me time to google the answers?

Perhaps I should just continue with these cards.

But I think I'll keep the armadillos just in case...



In other news: Happy 29th birthday to my best friend Cassie!! You're the greatest and I love you!

No more "B"s

That's right. The titles of my posts will no longer begin with the letter B. I've decided to move on.

Eh?
What's that?
You're surprised I'm alive?

Well, frankly, so am I.
I've been in nursing school, you see. Technically, I still AM in nursing school. For four more months. (Then.... GRADUATION!!!)
And all of my creative juices were sucked right out of my body and channeled into learning pharmacology and physiology and how to clean up poop and "nurse" people back to health. (AAAAAHAHAHAHAHA! What? No puns allowed? Fine.)

So my beloved little blog DIED. Ironic, isn't it?
But I've decided that I just have to bring it back. I've missed writing and I've missed all of you lovely people. If you're still out there.

*crickets*

Well I'll just talk anyway.

So LOTS of things have happened since I went away. Besides nursing school, I mean. I'll have to write a whole separate post about all the interesting nursing school things, I think. Friends, fun, field trips... poop. Lots of poop. But I digress.

The BEST new thing that's happened is my nephew Connor! My older sister Jennifer had him last May and he is LOVELY. I just think he's the most wonderfulest thing I've ever seen. He's 8 months old now. So he can't really do a whole lot except smile and be a cute little happy lump but if you knew him, you'd love him. I sure do. I don't get to see him as often as I'd like. He's in Lufkin and I'm here in College Station. But unless I barge into my sister's house and announce my intent to become a permanent resident I think things are as good as they're going to be right now. And it's ok. Just as long as he knows who I am.

You remember how my body is slowly trying to do away with me? Yeah, that's still going on. I have pernicious anemia now. It's where your stomach suddenly decides it's not going to produce something called intrinsic factor anymore so you can't absorb the vitamin B12. (Aha! I've found my ulterior motive for getting rid of the B words!)
You get awfully ridiculous without B12.
You can't concentrate, or walk in a straight line, or see, your body starts to strip away the sheaths surrounding your nerves.... it's a marvelous thing.
So I've been getting that fixed. Shots for 6 months. Then tablets for the rest of life. Fun.
See? This body really IS on a mission to kill me. For heaven's sake, it must be some kind of psychological freak show.

So many of my wonderful friends or family have had babies or gotten married! It's been like an explosion! Maybe there's an upcoming apocalypse someone forgot to warn me about...

Anyways... I hereby promise to update this here bloggy-thingie on a more consistent basis from this time forth. Maybe with funny nursing stuff, maybe with old funny Germany stuff, maybe with just stuff that nobody cares about but I think is interesting. As I mentioned at the beginning, you read at your own risk.

I shall leave you with a picture of the new love of my life.