Bacon

Happy Wednesday!
Today I am not going to talk about shoelaces. And I bet you're thrilled, aren't you? Well that's just because you have no idea how brilliant I can be when speaking about shoelaces. But another time, friend. Another time.
So bacon. I hate bacon. HATE it. I hate all pork, actually. Ham, sausage, pork chops, etc. If it's made of a pig, I don't want it. This is because when I was in high school my dad brought home half of a pig.
No, not literally. We're not from Arkansas.
He brought home the MEAT from half of a pig. (Boy, that's hard to clarify. It was in nice little paper-wrapped bundles. My dad is not a pig thief; he and a friend from work BOUGHT a pig and shared the "profits." This would be a much more interesting posting were the opposite true, however.) So we had pork out the eyeballs (and every other orifice) for a LONG time.
However, I had already decided that pork was not among my favorite meats. I would eat it, but it wasn't my favorite.
It's because in 4th grade I saw a movie about how hot dogs are made.
*gag*
So I had already crossed hot dogs off my list of edible niceties. Then this pork thing came along and pretty much took care of the rest.
The problem is that bacon actually smells pretty wonderful. So every time I'm around it I get the urge to try it just to make sure I still hate it. And I inevitably do. But my nose never remembers the next time around. I wonder if there's a medical condition to describe that.
Smellsheimers?
I don't think so.
I've completely forgotten why I decided to write about this today.
Oh, yeah.
My little sister's nickname for me is "Pig." She got it from a Muppet movie when we were very small, so it's not an insult at ALL, it's just a quirky, endearing name we use. We give each other stuffed pigs as presents and find books and things with cartoon pigs to send each other. I love it, but most people assume it's mean or degrading.
I like to think it was just a foreshadowing of things to come. My tiny sister, in her cute little baby voice, was speaking a prophecy.
"And you, wise older sister of mine, will grow to abhor all things pork-like in taste. I, therefore, dub you 'Pig,' out of respect for all the swine you will save from being consumed. Rise up now. Live your life, continue to thrive, giggle a million giggles, and paint your toenails odd colors. Go forth, brave sibling, and eat chicken."